This change did not happen in a clearly observable way. It did not seem to be the case for a long time, until one day it was obvious, even to me.
I started running with some regularity in 2009. My wife and I had signed up for our first half marathon and I ran, because I had to train for that race. I would not say that I enjoyed the training, nor that particular race. So afterwards, of course, I decided to sign up for another one, about six months later.
Thus began an on-again, off-again relationship with the activity of running. I usually had some road race on the calendar, found and loosely followed a training plan, and did my best to get out the right number of times per week to more or less stay on track.
This continued for years. I would go running and appreciated it as an activity (sometimes more than others), but I was pretty sure it was inherently not who I was. I did not mind telling people so, either.
I vaguely remember one such moment, either after the finish of Beat The Blerch in September 2015 or the Lake Sammamish Half Marathon in March 2016 – I was hanging out at a bench and having a conversation for a few minutes with a young woman (who had finished much faster than me). We talked a bit about the sport and different races and I offhandedly remarked “It’s cool, but I’m not really a runner.” To which she responded, “… oh no, you are.”
I believed what I believed.
A personal challenge to run one thousand miles in 2023 had the side effect of me just getting out a lot more, without training for anything. That trend continued in 2024. We also moved to a different town in the summer of that year.
Our new place is surrounded by hills and virtually every run invariably ends up a trail run. It feels both more difficult and much, much more fun.
As outings became more regular and distances increased casually and without pressure, my experience of it also changed. Not training for anything, but rather mostly just running, for the sake of it. The activity became more habitual, eventually leading to a different lifestyle. Finally, a shift in belief.
I had come to think of myself as a runner.
🏃